4.14.17

Went to paris with john. Got right in again. 1:1 ratio but we had no balls to apporach for the first half of the night. I danced with this cute little red haired girl. She walked right out of my life and my heart after 15 mins.

A girl was lingering around us. I opened. She looked disturbed. I introduced her to John. They both had a good time talking. John got her number. Hopefully when he finds his ball sack, he will text her.

Dennis showed up without girls, without cash and without ID. He wanted me to get him in the club. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

4.15.17

Went to untitled. Kinda dead. Talked to bar tenders. The frequent Indian girl was there. Cute as always. Couldn't find an opportunity to talk to.

Went to social. Also kinda dead. Don't really remember the night. Talked to the bar tenders. Maybe danced a little. Nothing special

My Cancun hotel review gets denied

I mean to be honest. I was there for spring break. I only slept 4 hours max a night. Some of it was my fault and some of it was the hotel. The people next door had their TV on day and night. They never left the room. The paper thin walls were no help.  You can clearly hear their TV, their conversations and even their footsteps. The girl next door was jealous that her man kept hitting on other girls. He said that's not the case. I offered some input telling her that he's a man. What does she expect. They both told me to keep out of their business. I told them that I can't. The walls are too thin. 

It's always nice that the families bring out their crying babies in the hallway so everyone can hear. Also, you can hear your neighbors shower 2 doors down. And also, one morning, they were dragging the furniture on the marble floor for 3 hours straight. It was like scratching my eye balls out. My roommate just went to sleep on the beach. I don't even mind the slow and small elevator. It give you more time to get close to the girls and hit on them. They have no choice. They can't go anywhere.

Now the problems of the hotel. I don't understand the shake down process. If you bring a girl back to your hotel room, they will shake you down. But it's not consistent. One day it was $10, another day was $0 and the third day it was $50. Come on guys. Get on the same page. I loved the restaurants though. The sushi place is always empty because no one can understand the hostess.

What did you like about this hotel?

The beautiful hostess at the seafood restaurant is the most genuine person there. She would go in the kitchen and do a shot before each guest comes in

What, if anything, could be improved?

The scratching on the marble floor only lasted 3 hours. Can we get stronger guys to keep it going for a longer time?

Tell us about the location and things to do nearby

CCCOOOOOCOOOOO BONNNNGGGGOOOOOOOOO. Don't go there. It's no good. Go to the other bars- Mandala, city or even the sidewalk

4.7

Went to Paris club. Finally the bouncer recognized me and let me right in. No more dumb buying tickets. I forgot what happened the rest of the night.

4.8.17

Had a meeting for all of the guys to meet each other. Senthil was in town. I asked him to com out. We went to the apartment. So and so rejections. I kept leaving the sets too quick. Trying to show Senthil how to build momo. The very first approach was a dancing latina girl. She was down but I ejected because that was my first approach.

After that, we went to max bar. So ghetto. Jesus. So many gangsters there. Left ASAP. DIdn't want to get shot or stabbed.

4.9.17 Sunday - sucked so badly. Wow worst day in a while.

Went to a noodle shop with my friends until late so I had little time to prepare for last night. Waited in the god forsaken line. Got inside, almost dead. 3:1 ratio or 5:1 ratio. Lame as fuck. Only 2 latina girls were free and I didn't even approach them.

We went to BB. Sucked again. Approached one girl and said she has a bf.

Went to Public house. Line here?? Any way. Got in there. Nothing to do. Ate some chicken wings.

Went to spy bar. Another sausage fest. Went home.

Overall night - infested with those industry girls that have fake duck lips and have a baseball cap and an emotionless face.

Girl - "Where is the after party?"
Me - "Shut up and dance"
Me 1 hour later - WTFFFFFFFFFF was I thinking

Not much happened. Went to El Hefe. John was talking to a girl already. I was too pussy to talk to her friends. I got really drunk. Pulled 3 girls to Spy bar. I promptly left them because I drank too much and I was an idiot.

Talked to 2 other girls. Danced with one. "Where is the after party." I ignored that code and regretted it later. Pretty stupid.

Maybe stop drinking? I dont know

Maybe drink less. I know it takes a while to hit me. So fuck it. Drink a little and wait 30 minutes.

3.31.17

"All you want to do is fuck me tonight!!!" In shouting range of all of her friends

"No that's gay as hell!!! I don't do gay shit like that" but I take notice of none of her friends coming to her defense. A good sign. Her friends approve of me. Basically we are fucking tonight if I last in there. She's a virgin and I will take her virginity if I just last in there for an hour or two.

1 hour earlier. I arrive to the club. I open up my tab and wait for Rom. He wants to hear my stories. He comes in, I tell him all of my Cancun stories. He laughs, I laugh and it's time to do our duty. It's time to hit on girls. We are on the dance floor. Open up some girls we get rejected. These tall black girls with no bra on come in, i wave at them, they are confused, I come closer and they reject me. Oh well. I tell Rom to approach these 2 girls. He tells me back. I apporach the cute, chubby short, big boobs, SUPER cute face girl. I dance with her, Rom dances with her tall skinny girl. Everything is right in the universe. I guess like a GOD "you're from Michigan and you're into advertising." "HOWWW DDIIIIIIDD YOU KNOWWW THATTTTTT". well lucky as fuckk guess. "Come on it's obvious."... WE get a drink, WE make out, I grab on her big boobs. I grab on her ass. She makes sure her friend is cool. We sit down in a dark corner and talk. "Wait a second........... OMFFGGGG.... are you a virgin???" She says "yes... how do u know... I only kissed 4 guys and only 1 guy grabbed my boobs like that." I am so dissapointed. I always attract the virgins. I just want to get laid tonight. My chances go down so low.... But I'm so attracted to this girl. Her legs are on my lap. I'm grabbing her ass, kissing her, grabbing her boobs but she wont be mine.

Let's go back to your friends. I tell them to go to another bar. "All you want to do is fuck me..." Of course. But I take notice that none of her friends react. So they are cool with me. My chances are going up. Way up. We go to the next bar. I AM THE FUCKING MAN. I KNOW THE BOUNCERS AND THEY LET US RIGHT IN. I AM THE MAN. I dance with my virgin sacrifice. I make out with her. But something else is happening. I ate a chinese dinner with spicy shit and an apple. Now is the time that I pay the price. I need to take a massive shit. I got to the bathroom twice but nothing comes out. This is a huge problem. I go back to my virgin girl, she's dancing with someone else. It doesn't bother me. I can grab her back at any time. What bothers me is the 2 ton shit that is about to come out of me. I decide to go around the club. Get rejected then hurry up home and take a shit.

Ok I head home. I can't take it any more. I go into a dark alley and take a shit. I use my hand to wipe it off. I'm so embarrassed. I feel so low. But at least it's out. I'm thinking of going to spy bar but the problem is that the bounce will shake my hand and my hand smells like shit. I decide to go home. I go home so sad.

3.25.17 cancun 4^th  day

Took a ferry and met my future wife on it. SUPPPPPERRRR sexy. Sexy face, sexy body. Big boobs. She was excited to hear all of my stupid stories. She’s super smart. She points out inconsistencies in my stories. I’m marrying this girl and having 18 kids with her. But the texts are cold and sparse. I invite her to Palazzo tonight. She “can’t make any promises”

Went to palazzo. Event day again. Holy fuck. Again the guy to girl ratio will be 3:1. Have to start early or else everything will be lost. Instead I started watching girls dance on a dance pole and lost momentum. 30 minutes later, the 3:1 ratio was established and the chances were astronomically reduced. I realized that and I told John that we’ll both do 5 approaches each then go on the sidewalk. I did my 5 approaches. COmpletele failure. John did 3. 

Then I saw the red hair girl with big boobs. All by herself. She must have just got in so the 3:1 ratio didn’t start yet. I approached her, lifted her off the stairs and put her down. Tiny little thing. Red hair but no blue eyes. Can’t be picky. I started running game while running my hands on her body. Didn’t like her hair pulled. She didn’t drink at all that night. I tried pulling twice on the sidewalk. Tried pulling home. She said she’s on her period. I should have ended right there. Instead I kept going. She met up with her friend and another guy, I pulled them all to another club, made out with her more, sucked on her boobs then they all left. Went home alone on the bus, depressed and angry. Texted my LA therapist to tell her how lonely I feel.

My future wife texts me “I saw you with that girl last night.” I respond “I was just trying to make you jelous. Did it work.” She just laughs. I apologize. The marriage is off. I feel more lonely than ever.

3.26.17 cancun 5^th day

Bought some bullshit $80 ticket to some gayass show. John gets screened at the door and  can’t get in because of his Viagra pill. He goes home at 11:30 pm. Weak sauce. I go in there. It’s meant for a 150 person theater but they packed 600 people. I was by the exit staring in. The show was garbage. Just music videos on a screen and I left in 15 minutes. I pay to get in another club. Holy moly. The girl to guy ratio is 1:1. I’m fucking tonight FOR SURE. I start drinking again OPEN BAR again. I meet my Mateo friend at his usual table. I tell him that I’ll try to bring some girls to his table. I start dancing with a Latina girl with ZERO English. But love is a universal language so it doesn’t bother me. I stop dancing because I’m afraid she’s a puta. I don’t want to pay for sex. I go around, dance a little more with other girls. I keep getting rejected. No one wants to fuck tonight. 

I go to Senor Frogs. I see this tall SEXYYYY girl. But she says something in code “these are my brothers.” Translation – if you want to fuck me, you have to get them girls too. Ah shit. Hard as hell. I don’t care about that code. I start dancing with her, feel her up. Place is closing. I try to pull but her stupid brothers are there. They go to another bar, I can’t get in. I’m left on the sidewalk. I get robbed by 2 prostitutes right there on the sidewalk. I can’t get home. Cabbie says “don’t worry” and takes me to an ATM. He robs me too by overcharging me. I go home sad as fuck. I angrily tell john my story.

I get robbed again at the airport. “Where’s your visa” wtf is that. I came here to party not some gayass visa stay. “You have to check in with immigration” where we pay $35 to finally get out of the damn country.